First monsoon rainfall in K-town!

So 2 days ago Karachi FINALLY experienced its first monsoon rainfall….its lasted for a whole FIVE minutes -_- ….How anticlimactic!

Glimpses of the 7 minute downpour in K-town 2 days ago that brought smiles to millions and took away electricity from many more...

Giving in.

Sometimes there’s just certain people in your life, when even though you tell yourself “I’m not going to talk to them anymore”, you end up doing so anyways. You think you won’t reply or even a text message when they send you one, but you can’t help it. There’s just something that urges you to reply to them, even though you know in the end it doesn’t mean anything special. They’re probably just bored and want someone to talk to just because. To them it won’t mean anything, but to you it has a completely different meaning. And the first time it happens you say the next time you won’t give in, but… you do anyways. 

Memories.

Human existence creates so much of their identity through memories. We attach importance onto mementos of events and of places that exist. Our memories create who we are and our understanding of this world comes from memories. Without the tokens from memorable events, would one day the memory flee our mind forever? We don’t remember every single moment of our life so why do some stay and some go? It is those mementos that help bind some of those memories to our brains. From this we exist. Time seems like it is ever fleeing at a million miles per hour. Therefore we use our memories in order to hold onto time in a sense. Memories that hold sentimental value we try so desperately to keep them alive. We therefore accumulate items that keep the memory alive, even if not items from the event, we use photographs to relive these times. These memories create our identity. They shape who we are and give us a sense of understanding in this world. While an aspect of identity comes through our likes and dislikes, our knowledge, our appearance, we still largely are created through memories, of our own and of others. Memories inform us of all the things we like and how we react to things, why we do what we do, and how we physically prepare ourselves for the world. Perhaps our existence is only real because of the memories of us and those we have. We know we exist because we recall our existence and even if we can’t, someone does. This though begs to be asked, do we fail to exist if we don’t remember the memories and no one remembers us? Both don’t need to exist in order for us to exist however if both are missing, then what? Through whose mind does our identity exist? Our identity and existence would then therefore be limited to not for as long as we are living but how long we are remembered. Once forgotten, we no longer exist. It is what makes fame feel like the eternal fountain of youth because through people’s knowledge of our existence, we still live on. We may not stay young forever, but we still exist in this world through the memories of others and the knowledge of our existence. 

loneliness.!!

I’m sorry, we did everything we could, they say. And for that split second, I feel myself helplessly falling; falling with nothing to save me; falling with nothing to soften the cruel, heavy blows that life has dealt me. I’m sorry for your loss, they say, and I feel my heart sink so low, I do not think it possible to retrieve. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, they say, even though I want so badly to make them imagine.  I want them to feel as alone as I do. Want them to feel this loneliness that does not depend on the amount of people near me. It does not matter if the room I am in contains people who are packed in like sardines, or if I am accompanied by a mere number of two people, this constant, dead feeling of nothingness. I want them to feel that sickening feeling I do every morning when I wake up - that the one person I had poured my heart out to, like a gushing body of water from a dam whose walls had been broken, would no longer be here, ever. I want them to feel that empty, eerie white noise that fills my mind for days on end. To know how it feels to wake up and not care if the world suddenly ended , because this means that I can be with him. I wanted them to feel as cowardly as I do, . I am no longer afraid of pain - no, it seems that these days, all I can do is sit at my computer with this hollowed out husk of a body. I do not feel sad - sad is healthy, sad is an emotion. And this is what scares me most.

Ammi I love you!

My mother is the most amazing woman in my life. No one else can compare to her ever. She is my best friend. I tell her everything and she will never judge me. She is honestly the most caring and sweetest woman ever. I wouldn’t want to live anymore if she was gone. I couldn’t live with myself. I wouldn’t care about anything else. I love her so goddamn much that it worries me. If she comes home late from work but doesn’t let me know earlier I get scared 
Mom, i may not like you always. We may have arguments and fights sometimes. But there's one thing you should know, i love you always and forever..

Life Happens.

People fall in love.

People fall out of love.

Everyone makes mistakes.Maybe it’s you this time.
Maybe it will be you next time. 

The best we can do is take responsibility for our actions, and be there for people when they need us.

We are ALL people. We are all capable of being hurt and hurting others.
Some people forget that… and focus only on themselves, their own pain, their own happiness. Be a good friend. Friendship responsibly. 

Live your life to fullest!!!

Live life recklessly. Have fun. Don’t wait that when you grow old you’d regret something that you didn’t do. Screw up. Have plenty of friends. Go to parties. But do good. And most of all, Pray. There are better days ahead of you if you wish for that to happen. It’s okay to live life when you’re young. Rather than living old pretending to be young when you’re about to lose your youth. I never regret anything what I did  - I screwed up a lot. But at least I lived, and I enjoyed every moment.. :) n still enjoying life to the fullest ALHUMDULLILLAH..:)

Thought of the day

Bismillah

I’ve been called a lot of things in my life. Good things, bad things, neutral, both ways and the likes. I’ve been liked by people, and i’ve been hated. We’ve all been there. We can’t be perfect to everyone, right? and we can’t really like everyone sometimes. Even we have some people that we don’t really like to associate with sometimes. 

Though Im thankful to God. for the things that people see me, and the things that people think of me, there’s still a lot of things that people dont see. That i hide from people. there are things that i am ashamed of myself. A lot of things people don’t see that. and im thankful. Allah has helped me to cover up my short comings. For only He can see everything that i do, and it is within His power to expose or to cover the things we do. so i’m thankful for the things that Allah has covered for me. 

There’s a lot of things i do, that i am really disappointed at. bad things. i may be exaggerating by saying all this, but personally, i know the things that i’ve done, the things i’ve thought, and the things that i’ve said, and there were many things that are bad and sinful and hurtful. 

So I pray to God, to forgive me and all my sins. I hope that the people that i’ve hurt before can forgive my mistakes and my short comings. I hope that my parents and family members can forgive me for my mistakes i’ve done to them. 

We live in a society. we can’t ignore other people. so, one way or another, we may or may not have hurt someone without we realizing. I pray that those people can find it in their hearts to forgive me. I need to make the effort to ask forgiveness to those who i may hurt in the past. and i need to do it before i die. for when i die, i will lose the chance to ask. and that bad deed will stick with me till the day of judgement. and i fear for that. 

People may think that i’m a generic good girl as i try to be good and caring as the best that i can. but people dont realize that everyone has problems of their own. and sins of their owns. so dont be quick to judge a person without even knowing them. A problem to someone can be nothing to others, and something that is nothing to someone can be a major problem for someone else. 

think about that. 

I pray that Allah would forgive all my sins, and grant me wisdom and the strength to pay back all that i’ve neglect all these while. Grant us strength to stand by the truth and to do the things that You’ve ordered to us and to abstain from the things that You’ve judged wrong. forgive us all ya Allah. forgive us.  

InshaAllah

ps: a state of humility and asking forgiveness is better than thinking that there is no judgement and that we are free from sins. for when we know that every action has a consequence in the future, InsHaAllah, we would abstain from it. for every action has consequences….