Pourin' Out My Heart

You know, you never know what you got til it’s gone. So cherish life, every minute of it. I wish I knew that before I had to write this. Is the world this cold? … Man I don’t know. My best friend, my homie , my crime partner…the only one that knew me. Showed me so many things.
 Memories of you and I, make me cry. Tears keep falling down on my pillow. Falling for my angel - cause I know you’re watching. There’s so many things I wish I could say to you before you ever went away. Cause now I’m sitting here missing you,more and more like every day. Now If I knew then what I know now, I would say, “I love you” everyday and everytime I got to be around you. But I know now, you’re in a better place then you ever been before. But now it’s hard for me, to live with the fact that you’re gone from me. And I’m mad about the fact that you ain’t coming back | RIP sweetheart, 6 August 2011 - Forever

I needed to write..

I thought I promised myself to not be affected by this again but it just came back like it never left me. I knew I couldn’t just force myself to forget it so easily. I really should be more honest to myself.

I never really forgot. Even though the reality of it hurts me every time I think of it, it really bring the best out of me, and it is just too precious to simply forget and throw away…and that’s I can never let go of it. What’s life without a little pain anyway?

I’ll endure this. Someday.

You’re screaming to the world…

…that you want to be left alone but all you really want is someone to be there for you for once. You just want people to stop disappointing you. You just want to feel safe. But how can you feel safe in a place like this? Yet when you’re by yourself, you feel worst than ever.

Just hold on and think for a while

I'm just being real. that’s what you all wanted and i’m here to be honest.

nothing more, nothing less. just answering your questions and being the best person i can be, for myself. some things aren’t meant to be and some things aren’t meant to be changed. that’s life, that’s reality. you all have to understand, we don’t act out our own movie perfectly. things happen because we let it happen - we’re too late to prevent it. so next time you wanted the situation to be the way you want, make sure you know exactly what’s going on and you’re handling it the right way. not lying to the person you’re trying to fix things with, or denying everything that once was.

you might not see it, but it hurts more than just you... 

Open your eyes..

And you’ll see a girl who is broken. A girl who has lost hope in a lot of things because of the way she is treated. On the outside she will seem happy and pleased with life. That, I’m afraid, is only a mask. A mask she created so that no one would ever see what is really going on inside. She doesn’t want to burden people with her drama and troubles so she pushes it aside or to the back of her mind, hoping no one will ever see them. Unfortunately it shows sometimes and now ever more so. She needs help and it appears no on actually cares enough to see what is truly wrong unless they witness a part of that hidden truth. They might see it in some of her subtle everyday actions, if only they’d open their eyes….