“Heartless”

“Heartless”. That was my computer password, and had been for so long. It’s become a habit, typing it in almost 5 times every day when I go to log in to my computer. But today, as I typed it in, it felt different. I paused for a second and thought to myself, “Heartless…has that become a habit to me?” Not just a habit of typing it, but actually being heartless. Or is that what I wished I was? To be heartless, have no feeling or emotion. Life would be so much easier, no tears or broken hearts. No long nights staying up by yourself crying. But to be heartless, not know what love felt like, love being such a beautiful and magical thing. Is that what I really wanted? A lot of people in our generation claim that they wish to be heartless. But I don’t think that’s the case. I think that maybe, just maybe, they want the opposite. They wish to be loved; and to love someone back. To truly be in love. Not to claim they love eachother but go mess around behind eachother’s backs or to hurt one another over and over again to be “even”. But to be in love with someone, who is equally in love with them and no matter what problems they face, they are facing them together with that loved one by their side to guide them through it. I think that’s what we all genuinely wish for.